Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Life isn't fair . . .

In Dec 2008, our middle daughter gave birth to the most beautiful little creature I had ever seen. Just in case you don't know the background, Jolie was born premature and with a lateral cleft. The surgeon did a magnificent job of repairing her little mouth, so much so that most people don't even notice the scar. I knew the day would come when someone, or she, would notice it. I wish I could say I had prepared for that. But, truthfully, she is so beautiful and full of life that I just hadn't thought about it much.

Well, the day arrived. I don't know if a child in her class said something or if she just looked in the mirror and saw something that was different from the other kids. But it happened. A few weeks ago I was on the phone with my daughter when Jolie asked to cover her scar with a bandaid. I can't tell you how many people told me how different your feelings are for your grandchildren than they were for your children. I adore my kids. But my grandkids hold a place in my heart that I can't even begin to put in words. It hurt when someone was mean to my kids. Or when life just wasn't fair. But in comparison, oh just rip my heart out and stomp on it! I know Jolie will be ok. She is resilient and smart and funny, and she truly is beautiful. But the thought of her being hurt literally reduced me to tears, lots of tears. All the mama lion instincts in me rose up like a raging storm. I wanted to go marching up to her preschool and scream at the kids in her class. Now how silly is that? I opted instead to tell my daughter to let Jolie know next time she brings up her scar that Papa, (her hero), thinks she is the most beautiful little girl in the whole world, even prettier than all the Disney princesses, (her idols). That seemed a little more reasonable and healthy than beating up a bunch of four year old kids. 

I always told my kids, "life isn't fair; deal with it." I know that sounds cruel but it's true. Expecting life to be fair is unrealistic. People will do mean things. Problems will arise. Bad things will happen. A couple of months ago I heard a quote on "Blue Bloods" that has replaced my 'deal with it' mantra. "Life isn't fair, but you can be." Gotta love wise words coming out of the mouth of Tom Selleck, right? lol

We can't always expect 'fair' from others. But living with the assurance that God is always fair, that His love is never conditional, that His mercy is unending, and that His grace is sufficient, makes being fair with others much easier.


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