Milestones and anniversaries . . .

I started trying to write this post months ago when I had a little epiphany.  But I just couldn't get the words to convey the meaning I was feeling. I didn't understand at the time, but now I realize it was all part of God's timing. Funny how that works sometimes.

This is a long post. If you don't read to the end, at least scroll down and check the link at the bottom. Even if you don't need the info, I can guarantee you know someone who does.

Last year, 2014, marked some pretty important milestones in my life. Like quarter century milestones! In September, my piano man and I celebrated 25 years of marital bliss! Well, it hasn't all been bliss. But we are still madly, deeply, in love, and that says a lot after 25 years in our culture, especially with the baggage we came into marriage with. In February, 2014, we celebrated the month we met, also 25 years ago. I know. You are doing the math now. Yes, we met in February of 1989. We married in September of 1989, seven months after we met. Even more amazed that we are still married now, aren't you? LOL! (We did have an extensive set of mutual friends, but still, I really don't recommend this.)

It dawned on me around January 15th last year that there was another 25 year anniversary that I had completely forgotten about. This is really strange. Mostly because I thought it would always prevalent in my mind. I never would have dreamed it would be merely an afterthought as I was driving down the road, like, oh, yeah, it's been 25 years!

What milestone is this?

Sobriety . . .

25 YEARS . . .

SOBER AND DRUG FREE! 

Yes, there's another math thing. I met the man of my dreams almost one month to the day after my commitment to, well, more on that in a minute.

In Jan of 1989, I fell flat on my face before God, broken, empty, and alone. In complete desperation I begged Him to take my ruined life and help me be the person He wanted me to be. No games. No bargains.
No pretense of my own ability to help myself.

And for 25 years, I have been sober. Not one slip in 25 years. Well, except for the time I ordered a cappuccino in an Italian restaurant and didn't realize until I tasted it that it had alcohol in it. Kahlua. Who drinks that stuff anyway? Chocolate flavored alcohol. In coffee. Who knew? Lesson learned.

I don't say any of this to brag. Far from it!

There are a few things I'm always acutely aware of. One is the incredible grace I have been shown, by more people, and by God, than I could ever begin to repay or deserve. I have been blessed with amazing parents and a brother who lovingly tolerated me even at my worst. And the second is that I truly am a living, breathing example of the phrase, 'only by the grace of God.'

I would love to say that my 25 sobriety anniversary is due to my deep abiding faith and my close personal relationship with God. And, although true, it wouldn't really be the whole truth. Yes, I do have a deep abiding faith in God. And I do have a close personal relationship with my heavenly Father. And, yes, that has been the rock that I have leaned on in times of struggle and joy. But there were other factors that had a strong influence on my sobriety as well, especially at first.

Probably the strongest influence at first was abject fear.
Fear of doing damage to my children.
Fear of losing the wonderful man that God had brought into my life.
Fear of disappointing my parents and my brother, again.
Fear of where I might end up if I took just one more drink.
Fear of failing God.

At some point, over time, as I learned new behaviors and made new friends, as my faith grew, my fear turned into trust. But it didn't come easily! I had to work at it constantly, with people and with God. And especially with myself. I had to learn to do what I needed to do, instead of what I wanted to do. It was a slow painful process that my sweet husband, family, and my heavenly Father held my hand and loved me through.

So, I write this from a heart full of humility. And with a note of encouragement to anyone who is struggling with addiction.

Wherever you are, you are not too far from your heavenly Father's reach!

No matter what you've done, you still have value and worth!

And no matter how desperate your situation, your life can be redeemed!

Consequences from poor choices will still be there, but that doesn't mean that you are beyond hope for tomorrow. If I've learned anything on this journey, it is that my gracious God has gone before me time after time, and always will.
. . . to lead me.
. . . to guide me.
. . . to continue making me over into what He created me to be.

Change is hard. Walking away from lifestyles and habits that are ingrained in us is very difficult. But it can be done! It isn't easy. But if any of this describes you, do whatever you have to do to give your life over into His hands. Get involved with a church family that will support you and love you through the difficult days. Walk away from friends who are a bad influence. Change jobs if you need to. Even avoid family members who draw you into behaviors that you need to avoid.

Do whatever you have to do!

Rarely in life do we get fairy tale endings. If you ask anyone who has known me very long, they will tell you my life has been no fairy tale. But I have been blessed beyond measure. And I did get my prince charming. And we are living happily ever after. With a lot of storms and challenges. But I wouldn't trade the journey we have been on for anything else in the world.

And NONE of it would have happened if I hadn't taken that huge step in Jan of 1989.
A step that scared me practically to death.
A step that cost me nearly every friend I had.
A step that removed every social avenue I had known for most of my adult life.

A step that saved my life.

God loves you. 

Don't ever doubt it. 

Don't ever forget it.

Blessings,
Renea

We have just started a program in our church called Celebrate Recovery. I highly recommend it, whether you are dealing with addiction or other hurts, habits, and hang-ups from the past. Celebrate Recovery is a way to get the support you need to deal with any of those. And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me an email or message!

If you are in the Jackson metro area, our meetings are on Friday nights. Here is the link to our website with more info: http://www.dayspringonline.org/

Our facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/pages/DaySpring-Community-Church/222284828727

If you are somewhere else in the world, check out the Celebrate Recovery website to find other groups:
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

One Little Word 2015

This is my second year to participate in this One Little Word adventure. I wasn't super active with it last year, but it has been a constant little reminder in the back of my mind throughout the year. I've had a hard time this year coming up with my word, which caused me to really reflect and see if there is even any point to this process for me. And the resounding answer I've come up with is, YES! Looking back I can see how God has used this little word to guide me in some ways that were somewhat vague at the time, but now are more clear.

For 2014, my word was CHOOSE.

In August, 2013, we moved out of our home into our little RV. It was a huge, difficult decision and took a lot of prayer and soul searching for me to be ok with it. When we finally made the decision to move, the adjustment period was even harder than I had expected. Moving into the RV gave us security. We are in a wonderful area, virtually no crime, armed security on the premises at all times, and absolutely no fear of going outside or being inside. Unless you've lived in a high crime area where you never go out the door without being armed and on your guard, you really can't relate to what feeling safe means. Learning to distinguish between the sound of fireworks and automatic gun fire is simply not how people should have to live. My family had felt trapped for so long in a declining neighborhood consumed by crime, and here we were in our RV, completely safe. And I was miserable. I missed my big kitchen. I missed my laundry room. Yes, I really did miss my laundry room. I missed my scrapbook room. I missed my bedroom closet, the one that I hated when I lived in my house. I missed privacy. I just missed my house, period.

There were lots of tears, lots of frustrations, lots of grumpy days.

Then Christmas came. And I grieved. All my decorations were in storage. There was no where to put any out in the RV. There was no where to put wrapped presents. There was no big oven and counter tops to take care of the massive amount of baked goods and candy that I usually make. And I cried. And felt more frustrated. And was more grumpy. 

At some point between Christmas 2013 and New Year's Eve, I decided my word for 2014 was going to be CHOOSE. I was tired of being miserable. And frustrated. And grumpy. I decided that this is my life now. My hubby and I CHOSE this change because it was the best choice available. Now I had to CHOOSE to make the best of it. I did my best in 2014 to stop whining about what I didn't have any more and look at how blessed my life is. I accepted that my perspective is based on what I CHOOSE to see and how I CHOOSE to look at my circumstances. I certainly didn't do it perfectly, but if you look back over my One Little Word posts on this blog you can see that there were changes in my attitude. I decided to CHOOSE to see the good in life.

Sometimes the hardest step to changing is just deciding that you need to.   

And it has been hard. But it's happening. And I am adjusting and much more comfortable with our little, tiny home. So I've decided to continue this journey with One Little Word. 

My word for this year is BUDGET. 

I know that may sound like a strange choice. But this is the year I want to learn to BUDGET my LIFE! Not just my finances, which definitely could use a new budget attitude, but my entire life. My time. My resources. My finances. My talent. Everything. I don't want to be that person who gets to the end of life and regrets how I budgeted my life. I want to focus more on family, friends, ministry, giving. I am a master at wasting time doing things that show absolutely no results. And I'm not off to a great start changing that for this year. But I'm working on it. I want to be able to look back on this year and see that I gave it my all! I want to see that I truly spent time, effort, money, and energy on what really matters. I want to be able to say that I planned well AND executed those plans. I'm great at making lists and coming up with ideas. I'm not so great at follow up.

So, here's to 2015. The year I want to BUDGET my LIFE! I hope your year is off to a great start! And I hope you will join me on this little adventure called One Little Word.

Blessings,

Renea

Laundry Detergent DIY

Yes, I am one of those weirdos who makes my own laundry detergent. There are several reasons for this madness. And believe me, about halfway through this batch, I really thought this was madness. Mostly because I didn't write down the instructions last time and forgot one very important crucial step. More on that in a minute. Here are my general reasons for making my own laundry detergent:

1.  It's cheaper.

2. It makes my life much easier.

4. It only takes 1 - 2 tablespoons per load. That's it. And no dryer sheets.

5. Did I mention it's cheaper than buying the pre-made at the store?

(Actual recipe is at the bottom of this post. Just in case you don't want to read my craziness.)

The recipe I use is for the powdered version. If you are looking for a liquid version you'll need to look elsewhere. The liquid recipes just look like way too much trouble to me. For this recipe, basically you just dump everything into a large container and mix, except the Zote. It's a bar of soap. So most of the instructions you'll find online tell you to grate it. I did this once. I nearly lost what's left of my feeble mind. Seriously. All of the recipes call for Zote or Fels Naptha soap - grated. If you want to see the differences in the two, there are several comparison articles you can find through google. I personally like how the Zote smells. And it seems to dissolve fine in hot or cold water. And you can get it in pink. Sold! Last time I made this I found a video on microwaving the Zote to remove the moisture then just crumbling it. I was ecstatic! It works like magic! HOWEVER . . . this is extremely important. And I forgot this step. See that exploding Zote in the picture? Cool, huh? BUT do NOT do that! 

Here's the step I forgot. Cut your soap into about 1 inch squares. THEN put one at a time in the microwave on a plate. Start with 30 seconds to 1 minute. All microwaves are different so experiment to see what works best in yours. Whatever you do, DON'T put the whole thing in the microwave. Because 3 hours later you will still be putting Zote in the microwave, crumbling the edges, putting it back in the microwave. 

And you will hate me. 

And you will hate your dirty clothes, if you don't already. 

And you will hate anyone who is anywhere near you telling you how crazy you are, like your adult daughter who keeps looking at you like you just walked off the funny farm and rolling her eyes. 

And you will hate the very idea that you thought you wanted to make your own laundry detergent in the first place. 

Trust me on this. 

And then you will get impatient and put it in the microwave for too long. And you'll end up with something that looks like this. Burnt soap. Eeeuuuuwwwww. You know what burnt popcorn smells like? Just imagine burnt soap.It isn't pretty. And it doesn't smell nice. I recommend you have 2 plates of Zote going at one time. Let one cool while the other is heating in the microwave. I just used a heavy duty paper plate, you know one of those expensive dollar store kind.  Be WARNED - any moisture that is still in the soap will be really HOT!!! Your microwave may smell like soap for a couple of days. You can get the smell out by heating a cup of white vinegar for a minute then just wiping out the microwave with a damp cloth. Unless you didn't follow instructions and tried doing the whole bar at one time. Then you will need to clean all the soap that fluffed up over the edge of the plate and got all over the microwave. You should trust me on this, too.

So, after you've cut your Zote into squares, and put one square at a time in the microwave for 30 seconds to a minute, it will grow to this big fluffy thing. I just peel off the part that has dried out and stick any wet pieces back in the microwave for another go. I did end up getting the grater out towards the end. It does grate a lot faster after microwaving so you might want to use a combination of the two, microwave and grate.
Yes, I wear gloves. Not because any of it is toxic, but just because I have super sensitive skin and usually end up mixing the whole batch with my hands. Without gloves I would be washing my hands every 2 minutes. And that would slow down the progress. Patience is not one of my strengths.

Here is a link to a video that breaks it down. They were smart. They used a bowl. Duh. Maybe I will remember next time! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMflb84KOhk

SO . . . 

2 containers of this 7th Gen Oxi stuff - about $5.00 each

I've also used  Oxiclean and the Kroger brand. I think the 7th Gen works a little better, but that could be just because it was cheaper. Or because I'm a sucker for something that says, "Free and Clear." I picked this up at Big Lots. Kroger carries this brand but they have changed the packaging. So if you look for it at Kroger, it won't look quite the same.

One box of 20 Mule Team Borax - about $5.00

Most places that carry laundry detergent carry this.

2 bottles of Purex Crystals, whichever scent you prefer - about $4.00 each

I like the purple. But this time I used one purple and one blue. I guess I wanted more color. If you insist on using dryer sheets, skip this step. I have found I have less static in my clothes by using the Purex and skipping the dryer sheets. It also leaves no oily residue on your clothes that destroys the fire retardant properties of children's pjs. So for me, this is a win/win! And my clothes come out just as soft and fresh. 

Plus it's one less thing to store and remember to do. I'm all about consolidating tasks and storage. Have I mentioned we live in a RV?

2 bars of Zote soap - $.97 each

You will find this in the laundry detergent aisle with the other products used. It comes in pink and white. Kroger used to carry it but this time I was only able to find it at WalMart. And it was in a really odd place, like the middle of the aisle in between several brands of  laundry detergent. I had to look several times before I found it. You can use Fels Naptha soap, also. You would think they would be in the same place on the shelf. But don't count on that. I use the Zote because I just like how it smells. 

And I prefer the pink. Mostly because it's pretty. 

But this time I used one white and one pink, not for any particular reason. It was a weird shopping trip.

One box of this washing soda stuff. About $5.00

Also found in most stores that carry laundry supplies.

2 boxes of Arm and Hammer baking soda, or one large box - about $1.00 each for the regular size box.

If I'm at the grocery store, they usually don't have the large box. So it just depends on where I'm shopping. WalMart usually has the large box in the laundry aisle. But you can also just pick up the regular old baking soda in the baking aisle of your local grocery store.

Once you have all your Zote microwaved and crumbled, or microwaved and grated, or just grated if you are just desperate to build your arm muscles, you just dump everything together and mix. Easy peasy! I wash about 8 loads of clothes a week in a large capacity washer. This mixture lasts me about 9 months. My clothes come out clean and smelling fresh, not like a perfumed laundry soap. 

You only need 1 -2 tablespoons, I promise!

 This is what it looks like all mixed up. Pink and blue and white. Lovely! 

After you mix it all up, just store in a container. I fill a small jar or plastic container to use when I'm doing laundry and store the bigger one in my storage room. This is what my container looks like. It's just a plastic one that I got at the dollar store. It will hold the entire recipe, however, it is easier to mix in a big bucket or large stock pot. And I highly recommend if you live in close quarters, like an RV for example, that you wait until a nice day and do all the dumping and mixing outside. I did this batch inside. I sneezed a lot. Really. A lot. Even with the windows open. Definitely an outside project.

For some stains that I know won't come out in the wash I use plain old peroxide, especially for things like blood or little potty accidents. It only costs about $.60 per bottle and works great! Just pour the peroxide on the stain before washing.

TOTAL COST: APPROXIMATELY $32.00 FOR NINE MONTHS OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT 

INCLUDING THE FABRIC SOFTENER! 

If my calculations are correct, that's approximately 270 loads of laundry for $32.00! Disclaimer - math is not my strong suit. But I can tell you it lasts me about 9 months doing about 6-8 loads a week. 

So don't trust me. You do the math. My math is not known for being reliable.

So here is my recipe:

1 box 20 Mule Team Borax

2 regular boxes of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda OR 1 large box 

          (depending on what's available)

1 box Arm and Hammer Washing Soda

2 containers 7th Generation Natural Oxy Stain Remover Free and Clear 

          (Or OxiClean or a generic of your choice)  

2 bottles Purex Crystals

2 bars Zote Soap 

     

You will need a large container to mix and store.

Grate the Zote OR cut into approximately one inch pieces and microwave each piece for 30 seconds to 1 minute. Allow to cool then crumble into container. If there is some that didn't crumble, you can also grate what is left or reheat again.

Then just dump everything together and mix with a large spoon or your hands.

Use 1-2 tablespoons per load of laundry.

Once upon a time there was a girl,

who had a blog,

who never posted on her blog,

and

she

was

me.

We are finally back in our little RV home with wifi and 4G on our phones! Woot! For the last 3 months, we have been living with my parents due to health issues that rocked the world of our entire family. My mom had surgery in April that went terribly wrong. Then my dad had a severe allergic reaction that required several days of constant monitoring. I will probably post more on these two issues later, but for now, I'll just say both parents are doing much better. Mom is walking again (with a cane) after her disastrous surgery that broke her femur. Daddy is hobbling around after the huge blood clot in his leg that still isn't completely healed. If we can keep them both out of the hospital for a while I will be ecstatic!

Yesterday was my first day to be back to my regular walking. My day started early with a 1 hour commute to sub for a friend at her school. Driving over the water is always refreshing, even when it is foggy and the sun isn't quite up yet. (I may have taken this picture while driving over the spillway at 6:30am. Shhh!)

Walking by the water is even better than driving over it! This is one of the things I've missed the most.  These pictures are from my evening walk yesterday.

There is just something about large bodies water that makes me breathe deeper, think more clearly, feel more gratitude. God is so gracious to have endowed us with such beauty to enjoy. So today I'm choosing to LOOK.

Look at His creation.

Look at the gifts all around me.

Look at how far He has brought me.

Look at the beauty of the earth.

Blessings,
Renea

CHOOSE spoons . . .?

This is one of those blog posts that hurts to post. I hate admitting limitations. But I felt it needed to be said.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/chronic-pain/2013/05/the-spoon-theory/
I do not have lupus. I have fibromyalgia. It isn't life threatening. I won't die from it. It has been known to completely go away in some people. If you see me you will never know I have it if I don't tell you. It has no visible symptoms. Most days I feel like a normal person, able to function, go to work, run errands, laugh, carry on with typical wife/mom/grammy duties.
Nevertheless, I still have to choose how to spend my spoons. For the days when I don't feel like a 'normal' person, like when it is really cold. Or there are thunderstorms. Or drastic changes in the temp. Or I've been really busy for a few days. Or there are added stressors in my life. Or when I get sick. Or sometimes for no apparent reason at all.
Everyone gets tired. Everyone has days when they just don't feel up to par. This is different. If you read the linked article you will better understand.
When you see me in public I will probably look like just another normal person. A bit over weight and out of shape, but pretty normal. There is so much more that you won't see. You won't see the muscle spasms. You probably won't see how I sometimes get confused and forget normal things, like planning dinner. You might not realize that I didn't sleep last night from the pain or muscle spasms, or just because I couldn't sleep.
And you won't see the guilt. The anger. The frustration and disappointment.  Those happen when I'm home, alone. On the days when I look at the clock and it is 2pm and all I've done is get out of bed, make coffee, and sit. And there are no clean towels. And the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes. And I haven't had a shower. And I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I haven't done anything on my to-do list.
Or when my husband texts at 5pm to ask if I have a plan for dinner. And I don't. And worse, I didn't even realize I hadn't thought about dinner. He has long since quit asking WHAT my plan is for dinner.
And then there is the fear that plagues me so often. Fear that people will think I'm lazy. Or irresponsible. Or that I don't care about myself or my family or my friends. Or that my husband will finally have had enough and get really angry that there are no clean towels and the dishes aren't washed and dinner isn't planned.
After all, I was the mom who sewed and cooked from scratch and made birthday cakes and homemade apple pies. I was always involved. And even though none of the people in my life expect all that from me, I miss it. I want to be that hyper, energetic person I used to be. It happens occasionally, for a day or so. Then reality comes back around.
But you will never see my other reality. Because when you see me I'll be spending one of my spoons. Or several of them.
And I'm thankful.
Because I have more spoons now than I used to have. 
Because I can hold a microphone and sing in the worship team and sit through the worship service without nearly passing out from the painful spasms in my hands, arms, and legs.
Because I can spend time with my grandkids and enjoy it.
Because I can work.
Because I have a chiropractor who has helped me get off medication with awful side effects and learn to manage my symptoms much better.
Because I'm so, so much better than when I was first diagnosed.
And especially thankful because I have a wonderful husband who is so understanding, and asks IF I have a plan for dinner, not WHAT my plan is.
I still have a really hard time saying no. But I'm working on it. So today I'm CHOOSING how I will spend my spoons.
One spoon at a time.
Blessings,
Renea

CHOOSE to listen . . .

"The majority of us have no ear for anything but ourselves, we cannot hear a thing God says. To be brought into the zone of the call of God is to be profoundly changed."
Oswald Chambers
My Utmost For His Highest, Jan 16

Today I  will CHOOSE to LISTEN.

-to the still small voice that resides deep in my soul

-to turn off the noise in my head that calls me to go this way, then that way

-to really hear what is being said to me

-to wait for instruction before jumping ahead

-to listen carefully and discern meaning before speaking

-to listen to the truth I know, not the doubts that arise trying to defeat me

-to listen to the promises from my God who never breaks His covenants

-to listen to the eternal hope I have that cannot be shaken by circumstances of this temporary life

Today I will remember that I have the power to CHOOSE.

To choose what will play in my head.

To choose where my heart will rest.

I CHOOSE today to LISTEN to my Father who loves me.

One little word.

Choose.

Blessings,
Renea

Calendar Cover, Post #1

*You can order the kit for this calendar by emailing me at matildyjanedesigns@gmail.com.

This is post #1 on the calendar pages. There are no super secret special techniques in this entire project. But there are a few little tricks I used to create it and I'll share those as I go. The main trick is one I learned from the beautiful Heidi Swapp. You start with a store bought wall calendar as your base. She has a video of how she does that here:
http://www.mycraftchannel.com/Shows/Create-to-Remember-with-Heidi-Swapp/Heidi-Swapp-Calendar-Album/

I chose to bind mine with 3 clip rings, just because I'm challenged using theBind-It-All. I love that thing for smaller projects, but I couldn't get the punches lined up for this. So, here we go. This is my cover. (Apologies in advance for the poor pictures.) After I'm done using this as a calendar, this will be the cover page for my 2014 album. 

I stuck the polaroid photo mat behind one of the zig zag points.

There is a small trick here. The pink floral paper does not go all the way across the page. I had used it on another page and didn't have enough left so I improvised and just cut it so that the break in the paper would be hidden behind the text paper. 

Then just added some hearts for more cuteness. 

I will post the measurements for the pages in the order I made them, including these. For those of you who are OCD, I know this will drive you crazy. But I didn't do the pages in order, so they won't be posted in order. That way I can keep my measurements straight and won't end up with some odd piece of paper that doesn't fit when I get to the last month. Think of it as an exercise in patience. lol!

Choose JOY . . .

For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. Psalm 63:7

Today I am going to choose JOY.

Ever notice when you decide to make a conscious effort to be joyful life tends to go awry? Well, in case you haven't noticed, let me just warn you, going awry will probably happen. lol

For those who don't know, my husband, college daughter and I, all moved into our little RV home this past summer. For the most part, it has been a peaceful and even tranquil transition. Once I resolved to make the best of the situation and enjoy the perks, like a much smaller area to keep clean, (I don't even own a mop any more!), being able to sit outside in the mornings and have my devotional time looking at the water, and a host of other things, life really got much better.

Then winter happened. I know that may not be shocking to most people, but having lived in Mississippi for almost my whole life, winter is something that happens to the rest of the country, but not us. I mean, we have a really cold snap off and on, and occasionally it snows. But the next day it all melts, giving a concrete meaning to the term cold SNAP.

Unfortunately, like most of the eastern half of the country, winter in Mississippi has been a little weird this year. Frigid cold weather has rocked our southern world. And out little RV has rocked with it, with the wind, that is. So far we have invaded my parents' home now three different times. Christmas week we had an electrical circuit blow. On a Sunday. So we had no electricity. Then we forgot to leave the water running overnight during the first really cold front we had and woke up to no water. For three days. And last night at midnight we were gotten out of bed by a chirping sound that we finally identified as the LP gas monitor. We reset it twice to no avail. Then we got the manual out. The instructions were pretty severe. Turn off the gas, open all the windows, turn on all the exhaust fans, do not turn touch any light switches and exit the RV! So at 1:00 this morning we showed up at my parents' home to spend the night for the third time in a month.

As we were frantically trying to get dressed and grab what we had to have to leave the RV last night, visions of the RV exploding into flames and burning up were racing through my head. If there are two things I'm afraid of, fire and gas explosions would definitely be at the top of the list. I got a pretty sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. Then as we drove away, the thought occurred to me that even if that happened after we left, that the three of us would not be in it! And I thanked God that we were safe. I was reminded of a friend from my youth whose house just burned. Her beautiful spirit of gratefulness for God's protection over her family in the middle of the night has been an inspiration to me. Even in her mourning the loss of pictures, family heirlooms, those treasured things that we pour so much of our lives into, she is able to praise our Father for his loving arms that kept them safe and woke them up in time to get out of their burning home. And I was humbled. Again.

So today I am going to choose JOY.

JOY for an annoying chirping sound that alerted us to danger.

JOY for knowing that a heavenly Father is watching over my family even when we aren't thinking about Him.

JOY for the everyday mundane things that I take for granted, like electricity, running water, heat when it's cold.

JOY for parents who are willing to open their home to us time and time again, even at 1:00 in the morning!

JOY for life itself.

JOY.

Just one tiny little word.

Blessings,
Renea

CHOOSE to BREATHE . . .

Today I have decided to CHOOSE to BREATHE.

Simple, right? Sometimes we have those weeks where we run from morning until night, every day, all day, constantly moving. This has been one of those weeks. Actually, there seem to be a lot of those weeks in my life. I often find myself tired and frustrated by the end of the day and feeling like I have nothing to show for it. It seems there are always things on my 'to do' list not checked off that can't be ignored. And the list just keeps growing. And I get more frustrated. And I find myself taking deep breaths just to avoid the oncoming panic and anger and snappiness that I know is about to happen. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't. And my family catches the brunt of it.

I know that when I don't take the time to focus my heart and keep my priorities and line, my day is already starting out on the wrong foot. Not being a morning person, this presents some challenges for the day's preparation. So, for today, for tomorrow, I am going to CHOOSE to remember to BREATHE. I am going to CHOOSE to remember that this, too, shall pass. And, honestly, when this crazy life I'm living right now changes, I will probably miss at least some of these things that are making me crazy. Not all of them, but some.

But for now, I can CHOOSE to embrace the craziness.

I can take joy in the good all around me.

I can accept that I can't do everything I think I need to do.

I can be thankful for the small moments of calm between storms.

I can marvel at how blessed I am.

I can remember that even in the chaos, my Father is still holding my hand and walking with me.

I can be imperfect.

And just remember to BREATHE.

One little word.

CHOOSE.

Blessings,
Renea

One Little Word . . .

Choose.
Just one little word.
Something we do constantly.
Something we often let others or circumstances do for us.
I spent most of 2013 feeling like my life was being directed, my story being written, by forces out of my control. Our family went through some significant and painful changes in 2013. Looking back it seems I lived most of the year in survival mode, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
This year I want to CHOOSE more deliberately what controls me, Who dictates my choices, how I respond to circumstances. And let go, really let go, of those things that I have no control over.
This year I want to CHOOSE joy.
CHOOSE obedience.
CHOOSE consistency.
CHOOSE health.
CHOOSE trust.
CHOOSE faith.
CHOOSE to love like Jesus loves!
This year I want to CHOOSE abundant life, wholly committed, totally sold out, completely abandoned to Christ.
CHOOSE.
Just one little word.
One huge commitment.
Want to join me on this journey?
What word would you choose for 2014?
Blessings to you and happy new year!
Renea
P.S  If you are interested, there is a whole community of people participating in this adventure. Just google 'One Little Word' to find others.

CHOOSE Trust . . .

Today I am going to CHOOSE to trust.

CHOOSE to trust the bigger picture that I cannot see.
CHOOSE to trust the hand that guides me day by day, moment by moment.
CHOOSE to trust that He has not forsaken me when I'm afraid, feel lost, angry, confused.
CHOOSE to trust that His plan hasn't failed just because I've made mistakes.
CHOOSE to trust Him with the uncertainties of this life.
CHOOSE to trust that no matter how frustrating circumstances may be, or may become throughout the  
     day, week, year, that there is always hope for tomorrow.
CHOOSE to trust that even though I can't see past the human limitations, He is still in control of eternity.
CHOOSE to trust His heart of love for me. Always.

"One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question -- 

'What do you expect to do?' 

You do not know what you are going to do; 

the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing." 

Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest, January 2 

Uncertainty is frightening for us humans. I think we fear the unknown perhaps more than the known dangers around us. The 'what ifs' of life tend to make us apprehensive and stressed. They say that 90% of what we worry about never comes to pass. While that's probably true, for some of us, worrying may seem like an ineradicable disease that flows through our veins.While it is important, even necessary, to plan for the 'what ifs', we shouldn't allow them to consume our lives. Believing in a God who is bigger than our circumstances often takes more work than we want to commit to. It is an effort to see the God of scripture in His context, rather than our preconceived notions or what we have been led to believe by others or have come to on our own. To CHOOSE to trust an unseen God takes practice. Sometimes we must scream at the darkness around and stubbornly defy it's hold on us. 

If you are walking in darkness today, I challenge you to to just take a chance. I challenge you to believe for just a moment that there is a force bigger than your fear, stronger than your heartache, more loving than you've ever imagined. 

I challenge you to CHOOSE to trust in a God who holds all your tomorrows tenderly in His hands. You may not know what you are going to do. But you can CHOOSE to trust in your Father who knows what He is doing.

Blessings,

Renea

Tis the season...

Today is the first day of advent. The Christmas season has officially begun! Christmas music has already been playing in my van for a month. The Thanksgiving wreath is down. The pumpkins are ready to be put away. And the adventure of living in under 300 square feet has once again presented challenges.

I knew I wouldn't be able to put up a tree. But I hadn't really thought about where presents would go. I'm not really a last minute shopper. (Everything else I do is last minute.)  I tend to buy little things all year long for Christmas. We don't really do big, expensive gifts for Christmas. Everyone gets several gifts, most of them under $10.00. So there isn't that huge, memorable Christmas present each year. If you can imagine, between my brother's family and mine, 7-9 kids, plus a few spouses now, and usually a few grandchildren sprinkled in, plus 6-8 adults, all opening presents at the same time. There's always lots of wild chaos with tons of paper on the floor. It's awesome, crazy fun.

In our house I had a couple of places where I kept my stash. Since there isn't any room in the RV for it, I've found a few places to stick things. For now there are a few bags of random things in my van, a few in hubby's car, and a couple of items stashed in storage. Now the real challenge will be remembering where I hid things, which could prove to be interesting. I guess I'll wait until the last minute to wrap everything. Yay! Anyone want to come over December 24th and help? Lol

Blessings to you during this beautiful time of year. And let's all try to remember to keep the main thing the main thing. It's all about the greatest gift of all time. Jesus.

Renea

12 hour crop!

We have met the minimum to hold the crop this Saturday at Michaels, Flowood! Woohoo! I would still like to have a couple more croppers. If anyone is interested let me know!
9am-8:45pm, $10.00
Door prizes!

Downsizing sale . . .

Take a look at my Matildy Jane Designs Facebook page for lots of things I have for sale! Gotta clear out some product.

Another favorite and a little tutorial . . .

These layouts are from a DCWV sketch that we had for Scrap-IN at Michaels. The papers are all from the DCWV paper pad, Vintage Collector, which I absolutely LOVE! The only thing I added was the little chalkboard titles, 1st beach trip, 1st Disney trip, the 2 black mats and the mat under the zigzag on the second page. Those are Recollections chalkboard paper found in the open stock 12x12 paper at Michaels. I used a white chalk marker for those titles. You can find chalk markers in most Michaels over close to craft paint. They come in a set of 4. I can't remember right now what comes in the package, I think 2 white, a red, and a blue, maybe. You can also get colored chalk markers. I love these things! 

So a little info on the sketch. (I will try to post a picture later. Don't have one at home.)

Sometimes people look at a sketch and think they can't use it because their pictures are the wrong orientation, or too big, or too small, or whatever. Don't be afraid to alter the sketch! The first one was actually supposed to have been turned the other way. But that didn't work for the pictures I wanted to use. So I just flipped it on it's side. Simple!

I also changed up the title and embellishments a bit. The frames were all cut out of the paper, as were the hearts and the 'I Love U'. The zigzags (known by some as Chevrons) are from a whole page of, well, zig zags! I just cut them apart. Fun! And on the detail shots you can see that some of the hearts and zigzags are glittered around the edge, already done for you in the paper pad, as was the 'Make Good Things Happen'! No stickles or glitter needed! Woot! I did use a couple of circle punches to get those circles on the second page. Isn't it awesome when you can just take a paper pad, scissors, and glue and do an entire layout? 

Love it! 

There are 2 detail shots of the 'I Love You' for a reason. I used 2 different thicknesses of foam tape to pop that up. Don't have 2 thicknesses? Just use one behind your lowest embellie and double the foam dots to make the higher one. Yep, just pop one on top of the other. And see all that striped fun inside the brown frame? Well, keep reading and I'll show you the easiest way to make that!

Now for a little tutorial . . .
You know all those little paper pieces you end up with after crafting? Come on, you know you have them. And you horde them because ONE DAY you might need them? I really know nothing about that. I've only heard that some of my friends do this. Not me. Yeah, right. lolWell, here's an idea. You start with a piece of cardstock, any color, doesn't matter. Cut it to the size of your finished embellisment. Run it through a xyron. If you don't have a xyron, you could use any dry adhesive, even a glue stick. I just prefer the xyron. You do have to make sure that the entire piece is covered with sticky.Peel back a little of the plastic covering.Start placing your strips side by side over the sticky. (I inked first with Distress Ink.) Continue until you have the whole piece covered. Then trim the excess from the back. Viola! A beautiful embellishment from that stuff you thought you should have thrown away but just couldn't bring yourself to do it!

Have a creative Friday!

Well, as Porky says, 'Ehhh, th-th-th-that's all, folks!' 

Blessings, 

Renea

A few of my favorite things at Michaels right now . . .

Over the next few days/weeks, I will be posting pics of a few of my favorite things at Michaels right now. This is the first of numerous posts coming. Get ready to do some shopping!

DCWV Ultimate Sports 12x12 paper pad. Regular price $19.99. I rarely use sports related papers. Honestly, I don't usually like them. But these are just awesome. I love the baseball mitt and the stadium shot. Actually, I didn't find any papers in this stack that I didn't like! So now I just need more pics of the grandkids playing sports! I'm planning on working on a few layouts this weekend of little man, Freelyn. Gotta get some pics of big boy Gavin to work on. 

Hey, Andie, did you hear that? lol

Dear blog . . .

Dear blog,
I am so sorry for neglecting you. I'm afraid it will be a while longer before I faithfully check in with you. See, we moved into our RV. We thought we had things figured out for all the high tech gadgets we use. But, alas, as Mr. Murphy would have it, we still don't have internet. And typing from my phone with Mr. Autocorrect is just not fun.

Here is a picture of our new, very much smaller home sweet home. (We are adjusting. No murderous threats . . . Yet. Lol)

Hopefully I will be visiting you regularly soon. Thank you for understanding.

Your long lost friend,
Renea

We are moving . . .

Yes, we are moving. I would almost rather be water boarded than to move. I dislike the whole process. The packing. The deciding what to pack, what to get rid of, what to sell, what to give away. Then the moving itself. I really hate it.

But this move is different. We aren't moving because we found a nicer house or have a job transfer to another city. We are moving because of the crime in our area. After our home being broken into several (I think 7) times, our cars being broken into, even having the plants on our front porch stolen, we are leaving.  As you can imagine, this has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I can't tell you the number of people who have told us for years to get out. We kept thinking it was going to get better. We wanted to believe that it would. We love our house. We love our neighbors. We felt we would be betraying them to leave. About a year ago we knew we were going to have to look at moving. We hoped the economy would rebound and our house value would come back up. It hasn't in our area.

A couple of weeks ago at church I went to the altar to pray for peace, for guidance, for strength. My conclusion of that prayer was just, 'Lord, whatever we have to do, wherever we need to go, when I get up from here I need you to help me be ok with it.' The next day we made the tough decision to move, and have set a deadline for ourselves of before school starts in the fall. Since we haven't been able to find anything we feel comfortable with that we can afford, we are moving into our RV. Yep, hubby, me, and our college kid, in an RV. Can anyone say 'family bonding'? lol

I've been journaling some of the emotions and realizations I've had since we made this decision. (More on that later.) We will be renting a storage building so I'm not having to let go of everything I own. But I'm choosing to embrace the opportunity to make some adjustments in my lifestyle. One of these is as I'm getting ready to pack up my home, I'm asking myself this question:

Do I love this?

If I love it, for now I'm keeping it. If it don't love it, I'm letting it go. 

So let the purging begin! Huge yard sale coming up soon!

Blessings,

Renea

*As I was getting ready to post this, I was looked back at a few posts and saw this one. I had forgotten I'd even written it. It was a great reminder to me of how perspective matters. Hopefully I can remember to have a joyful heart through out this whole process. And, I'm sure my hubby will be right as usual, and things really will get better!

http://matildyjanedesigns.blogspot.com/2011/12/joyful-heart.html

Just keep smiling! Newest precious granddaughter.
Keeping this sweet face in front of me makes everything happier!

So excited to be having a 12 hour crop at Michaels, Flowood this Sat! Want to join us? Let me know if you plan to so I'll have enough tables!

May classes have been added to Google Calendar! Click the 'My Classes' tab. The link is at the bottom of the post!